What is your topic?
My topic:
Body modification
What is your thesis (roughly stated) and what are the main points that support it?
My thesis:
Body modification in Japan should be treated more carefully after understanding the important meaning that is to modify the body because of accepted customs and values related to changing the form and appearance of the body.
The main points that support it:
Recently, people change their bodies easily but body modification was the important expression to represent their (the races') identity essentially. Moreover life is given by God, parents and ancestors to children from the various points of view.
Why did you choose your topic?
Because I watched a TV program about body modification and I was attracted by it. I felt recent body modification is unreasonable and I became to want to know and insist about it.
Hi Sayaka,
ReplyDeleteThis is Chris Hoskins, your teacher in various classes.
Please look at my rewrite of your thesis. I think it's clearer and easier to understand. Please use this rewritten version of your thesis is you want to.
Your Thesis:
People in Japan should not undergo body modification unless they first understand the important meanings attached to modifying the body that exist because of accepted customs, values, and identity issues related to changing the form and appearance of the body in Japanese society.
Thank you for advising me.
ReplyDeleteI rewrote thesis statement.
Thanks a lot.